BTW, Mr. Brandreth, your rant about REGULAR COFFEE really did not go far enough. Even when you ask for a "regular coffee" in the US, what you get depends on where you are asking. In some places, it is regular coffee vs decaf. In other places, it is a question of size. And, in Boston, you are asking for coffee with cream and sugar.
In a meeting once, a secretary was taking coffee orders from the guests around the table. Hubby asked for black. The boss said, "I'll make it easy for you, I'll take regular." Hubby looked at him straight faced and asked, "How is that easier? Do they have to take the cream and sugar out of mine?"